Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
