I just made out with a guy for $7.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
