its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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