I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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