okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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