They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
