the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
