sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
