i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
