Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
