Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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