Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize