My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
COCAINE IS GR8
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
