Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
