I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
