I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
