Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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