you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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