margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Enjoy the penises
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
