I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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