My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
