I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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