Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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