Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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