I just made out with a guy for $7.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize