What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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