what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
