Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
