your room smells of hookers.
And success
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize