She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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