it's too hot outside to masturbate.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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