Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
