Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
