She said her name was "party"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
