Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
