I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I just put wine in my tea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Randomize
