I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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