I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How does it feel to date your dad?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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