This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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