Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
