you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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