Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
