What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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