I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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