I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
