He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
