I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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