Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
