Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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