Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
