i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
