Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
