fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
