he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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