we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
