: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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