I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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