The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
