absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize