why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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