Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
