i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize