He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
