Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
