The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
